I was driving to work early today to enjoy a leisurely lunch before an in-house meeting. (I usually work from home.) My commute is a beautiful, winding drive through Argyle, TX.
I have had a rough couple of days, which followed a rough couple of weeks.
That’s when it hit me. Literally. I was stopped in traffic and the car behind me hit my car fairly hard. My neck and right arm took the brunt of the impact.
I sat there stunned for a few moments, then pulled over. The lady behind me pulled over too. Surprisingly, no one else in the long line of traffic stopped to render aid. I was okay. Just dizzy and stunned. My vitals were good. We exchanged info. My bumper is a bit roughed up. But no real damage was done.
And then the headache started. As the afternoon wore on I realized I can barely turn my head to the right. My right hip feels like someone took a baseball bat to it. And my right arm protests anytime I move.
Sometimes what appears to be minor damage on the outside causes major pain on the inside.
It seems like the smallest impacts can make for the greatest aches. And these kinds of aches seem to come in ripple-effect waves.
My latest life impact is actually something I should have seen coming and gotten out of the way. The impact point was a friendship I saw moving toward a relationship and we completely miscommunicated.
There was a minor impact when we finally communicated clearly, but my heart has taken the brunt of the impact.
To be fair, he communicated clearly and my heart didn’t want to hear it because it would hurt, and I’d put in over a year’s worth of time and effort to something I thought we were building together. When I realized it just wasn’t going to happen, my heart wanted him to see things my way. I think they call this bargaining.
Our miscommunication is like the picture of two people looking from opposite ends of a number. Is it a 9 or a 6? The answer is – yes. It all depends on your perspective.
Just like my arm and my neck today after the wreck, time and rest will heal me. When I look at it objectively, nothing really got broken. It was a minor, repairable scratch in an otherwise strongly-built friendship. The friendship will definitely survive. But right now I just ache so badly. I’m ready to start to heal and begin the repair work.
If you know me you may be surprised that I’m walking through this. I’m pretty strong. I just keeping on walking through life, but my heart hurts.
I smile. I write. I encourage. And just like today – I went on to lunch and work post-accident, but I was hurting the entire time.
Why am I writing this? Is this a journal entry or an encouraging word?
Can you think of a time you lost a friend or had words with a loved one or miscommunicated or had some kind of impact that hit you out of nowhere and you looked fine on the outside, but were aching on the inside?
I just wanted to say – I get it.
Build solid enough friendships that minor incidents won’t damage much. And if damage is done, which is what usually happens in any relationship, build in the friend-surance of love, grace, peace, space, forgiveness, and laughter to help get you healed and back on the road.
Oh…and some other great friend-surance is of lots of time spent laughing over lattes.
Life is better with friends. Take care of those you love.